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How to understand if a husband is cheating: 9 signs test

Hello dear readers of Even the strongest marriage can eventually crack the relationship. Especially if adultery has occurred in conjugal life - because of it, strong alliances collapse, and sometimes it is simply impossible to forgive. But it is extremely important to be sure that adultery really happened on the side of your spouse - do not flog a fever without making sure of it. And about how to find out if the husband is cheating, we will try to tell in our article. After all, a smart and attentive wife is able to determine reliable signs of a husband’s betrayal, and we will help in this.

The main signs of adultery

Before we begin a detailed examination of the signs of a husband’s infidelity, we want to immediately warn jealous wives - never listen to what strangers tell you. More precisely, you can listen, but you shouldn’t only build on the basis of rumors of further behavior, and even more so - file for divorce and begin the process of divorce. Do not forget that strangers can out of jealousy slander your faithful. It is possible that someone could make a mistake and confuse your husband with another man or draw the wrong conclusions from an accidental meeting on the street.
Before sorting out relationships in the family or going to mom, try to look at your spouse and determine - are there really these notorious signs of his betrayal? Maybe everything is not as you were told, or did you come up with yourself in a fit of jealousy?

External changes

1. Underwear. Remember that a man with his wife can walk in ragged dirty socks, two-day or even more shorts and a shirt with spots. But he will never go to his mistress in such a way! If earlier the husband was satisfied with cheap linen, and now in his wardrobe a lot of high-quality, branded underpants and socks have appeared, then his wife should be wary.

2. Hygiene. Previously, it was difficult for your faithful to be pushed into the shower, forced to shave, and — oh gods! —Cut your nails? Was it a real disaster? And now he rushes to the bathroom several times, buys expensive deodorants and often shaves? Perhaps he bathes to wash away the smells of others from his body? Does he want someone to like? Wife, keep your ear sharp! Something is not clear here!

3. Eyes are constantly running. Remember, no man wants to look like a scoundrel in the eyes of a woman (even if he has stopped loving her). And the fact of his betrayal, he will try to hide as long as possible. But his gaze will betray him. Ask him an uncomfortable question and look intently into his eyes. Does he take them away? Speech goes astray and many phrases sound ridiculous? Most likely, he has something to hide from you, and what exactly - he knows for sure.

4.Removes the engagement ring. Your spouse always wore a wedding band, and then suddenly he became uncomfortable or his fingers itch, "I'm afraid that I will fall and lose"? All this is pure lie. It can only be justified by the presence of a certificate of a skin disease or some other health problem.

5. My husband has foreign objects. Have you noticed that among the spouse's accessories there are new clips, ties, cufflinks, perfumes and you definitely did not buy this and do not remember that the spouse spoke about his acquisitions? This is a good reason to think - aren't these gifts from his passion?

Personal Space Changes

1. The car. Husband began to wash it more often, buys some flavored little things, so that “it just smells good”, although earlier he was happy with everything? Perhaps his love for his car intensified. In order to verify this, at the time of boarding the car, note some points for yourself - have the seat adjustments not been adapted to your dimensions and requirements? Check the glove compartment - everything is there as always - documents, dry wipes and lighters? Or did third-party items that women often use appear? For example, a small handkerchief, a button, some kind of decoration. If yes, then you all understand.

2. Technique. Your husband suddenly has a strange habit - even leaving the room to the toilet, does he close all the windows on the computer monitor or put it on a password at all? Mobile never now remains in a conspicuous place unattended by the owner? Most likely, your fellow man has put up a defense of his very personal space, in which there was no place for you. But apparently - it is for someone else. Other.

3. Remedies. In your bedroom there have been no condoms for a long time and you don’t need them - your husband knows that you have put an expensive high-quality spiral and you will not get pregnant at all? But in the pocket of his trousers or jacket you suddenly discovered this miracle of technological progress? Most likely, your guesses about his betrayal have reason to be.

Changes in family life

1. Money has become less in the budget. Keeping a lover or even just meeting her is an expensive hobby. And if another woman appeared in the life of her husband, then you will soon learn about it from the "leaky" budget. Moreover, all of a sudden, nothing portended trouble (loss of work, big credit, cut wages) - and all of a sudden.

2. The joint outputs ceased. A spouse can go with anyone to a cafe, restaurant, stadium, doesn’t call you to corporate parties? This means that most of his life passes without you and he is so completely comfortable. He did not offer for a long time a joint rest, leisure? Think about why.

3. I ceased to be interested in your affairs and family life. No plans for the future with you. Most likely, your missus has radically changed his circle of interests from always problematic (money for repairs, children to school, repairing a crane, etc.) to a more interesting one.

4. There was a stealth. He does not tell you (as before) about how his working days go, what was interesting on a business trip, does not share any funny stories and jokes of the team. Or vice versa, she always zealously answers such questions, but somehow everything looks memorized - that’s how I was preparing for the exam and now the X-hour has arrived. Two reasons - either that you simply fall behind, or that he does not want to tell you anything, because he already told everything to someone. He draws a line between you. Psychological trick - I won’t tell anything, because she’s not interested, but the other one. It's always easier to blame someone, right?

5. Constantly confuses something. For example, your favorite color or taste, date. Talking about your words that you never uttered, and when you tell him about it - an awkward hitch arises. Confuses things, your preferences, etc. Most likely, he got confused in several women. And his mother and sister have nothing to do with it.

There are a lot of signs of a husband’s infidelity, they can be individual. After all, no one knows your spouse better than you. Nevertheless, each such sign requires a detailed understanding, responsibility, patience. But even more - they all require reason. Only after your guesses develop into conviction, you will receive facts of betrayal (not even obvious, physical), you need to sit down at the negotiating table with your husband and talk. Collect all the signs together and give it to the mountain to him and watch how he behaves.

And one last piece of advice: do not forget that the one who cheated is always to blame for the betrayal, but both partners are often to blame for the reasons for it.

1. Change of appearance

Yes, he really can start to shave more often, change his clothing style, get carried away by updating the wardrobe for his mistress. Or not. But who knows why a man can decide to reconsider his tastes and attitude to appearance?

  • I wanted to.
  • A competitor has appeared.
  • Stricter requirements for dress code at work.
  • The neighbor's grandmother praised the new t-shirt, etc.

If betrayal has already occurred, then according to the logic of events, a man does not need to change outwardly and preen. He has already been accepted, two women love at once, everything suits him.

Although one detail is still worth a closer look. If the spouse was not particularly picky about underwear before, and then suddenly began to stock up with stacks of underpants from Calvin Klein, this is an alarming sign. It is unlikely that he decided to "transform" so for the sake of himself or his wife.

2. Delays at work

The 21st century can be safely called the century of workaholism and slavish exploitation at work. So the husband really can stay on business matters more than once. And she will also grumble at the wife for her attempts to hug him, because he is tired and hates the whole world after a hard shift.

How about corporate parties that come without wives? The answer is simple - the chief goon. Wives at the buffet table are additional expenses that the management does not want to take on.

Of course, it is impossible to assert for sure that the spouse is delayed at work, and not visiting someone else's woman. However, blaming the faithful for treason, arguing such a conjecture only with his late return on weekdays, is also a so-so idea.

3. Frequent telephone calls

If the wife really believes that her husband will talk for a long time with his mistress at home, then she considers him a complete idiot.

If the husband is cheating, he is surely afraid of being exposed. He will do everything so that he is not caught red-handed. Secretive phone conversations can indicate anything, for example, he:

  • preparing a surprise (it is better to check the calendar for the coming holidays),
  • got problems that he’s afraid to talk about or doesn’t want to bother,
  • solves work issues in isolation so as not to be distracted,
  • makes “male jokes” with a friend that are clearly not intended for the thin female ear, etc.

You can harness oneself if the husband is clearly looking for a reason to slip out of the apartment for several minutes and takes the phone with him. For example, if, for all his dislike of shopping, he suggests going for groceries. Or he suddenly decides that a quarter full bin is already an occasion to take a walk and throw out the garbage. At the same time, he completely refuses to take his wife with him. Then it’s already clear - I went to call my mistress.

4. Deterioration of intimate life

Even the most passionate feelings calm down after several years of routine. No, they do not disappear for good, but they “lie to the bottom”. All the partner’s habits have been studied, and, as a rule, there is little variety. Love and sex also become more bland, this is natural. To make it more diverse, you can:

  • go on a journey together, change the scenery,
  • transfer to someone children / pets / work for a few days and just stay together,
  • try something new (poses, locations, role-playing games, toys, etc.),
  • hint at a visit to a sexologist (her husband is unlikely to agree to go to a specialist of this profile, but he will probably try to prove that everything is fine in bed),
  • buy erotic lingerie, take the initiative in their own hands.

You can reasonably be wary only if your spouse suddenly begins to use something new in bed for no reason. Moreover, this “new” is regularly repeated in him. This situation may mean that the husband tried the experiment on the side and is now trying to include him in marital sex. Often, he ignores the spouse’s reaction to the novelty and periodically tries to impose on her a pose / game / action.

5. Finds in his car

If the husband has a mistress, she was 100% in his car. Wrong man can buy bundles of fragrances for the car. Therefore, if bouquets of cheap chemical aromas suddenly began to come from the salon, it's time to think.

A wife can also find out about her rival for two more reasons: a woman’s alien thing or perfect order in the cabin, although her spouse was not previously observed in such cleanliness. What may arouse suspicion:

  • the presence of female hair in the seats,
  • earrings, rings, small trinkets, even underwear clearly belonging to a strange woman,
  • a differently adjusted passenger seat,
  • fingerprints, palms, in general of any body parts on the glass (visible when fogging),
  • traces of female cosmetics (foundation, eye shadow, powder - it is difficult to calculate, but it happens, which is very noticeable).

In general, the “iron horse” of the faithful will betray him with giblets. However, getting into the salon with an “inspection” will not be so simple. It is possible that the husband will not leave his wife alone in the car for a long time.

6. Sudden generosity

If a husband, from whom it was not always possible to wait for a gift even for his birthday, began to buy various trinkets and fall asleep with flowers for no reason, this is suspicious. It's hard to believe, but even traitors sometimes wake up conscience. She kicks a guilty feeling in her side, which begins to rage, and her husband suddenly decides that he can plug him with generosity.

The logic is approximately as follows:“I have a mistress, but I don’t want to let my wife go either. My conscience is gnawing, so I will try to pay off her, giving my wife presents. I am evil, my generosity is good. Everything, the universal balance is restored ”.

Paradoxically, this alignment can play into the hands of his wife. It's not even about bargain gifts. The whole point is that the husband is thus trying to save the marriage, and the lover is his temporary hobby. It is possible that he himself will get tired of hiding everything and stop communicating on the side.

7. Condoms

Couples usually stop using them or resort to them irregularly. So an open pack of condoms in the glove compartment of his car, in his coat pocket, in his bag - but anywhere except home places that his wife probably knows about - is a bad but obvious sign.

If the couple nevertheless uses these contraceptives, condoms of another brand or subspecies (with flavorings, without lubrication, with a specific surface, etc.) can become evidence of treason. The husband’s reaction to his wife’s find can also tell a lot. A faithful spouse who just decided to try new contraceptives with his wife will react calmly to this.

The most obvious and cruel evidence of treasonassociated with this method of contraception: the husband insists (does not offer / asks) to use condoms, although the couple has long abandoned them. There is a huge chance that he not only changed, but also attached the Venus train to his shoulders.

How to behave to find out the truth?

Do not blame your husband for treason unless you have concrete evidence. Behavior that seems suspicious to you is not considered a weighty argument.

If you are determined to keep the marriage, it might be better to stop trying to discover the facts of betrayal. When a man hides an affair, he does not intend to divorce his wife. But if the truth is too important for you, and you are sure that you will not live with a cheater, you can calculate the spouse's infidelity using some methods.

Simulation of departure

Some men do not disdain to cheat on their wives in their home as soon as the spouse leaves for somewhere. You can go to the trick by telling your husband that you have business in another city. Take cover for a business trip, a trip to family or friends. Set a return date, but show up at home a few days earlier.

Phone Check

When a woman does not pay attention to her husband’s phone, the man does not guard him and leaves him in places accessible to his wife. If appropriate, browse the phone.

You will probably find photos, messages, or calls that make you suspicious. In addition, you can try to get a printout of your husband’s calls if you know for sure that he will not know about your actions.


Subconsciously, we cannot always keep some events of our life secret. Often a person behaves in such a way that it is noticeable to the naked eye that he is hiding something. The fact of adultery can be determined by the main signs that slip in behavior, however, they are subjective, they are affected by individual traits of a man’s character.

  • Lying. The first subconscious factor - a man begins to deliberately lie. It is easy for a woman to feel this lie. But the question is that many women consciously prefer to take for truth the stories about business trips, night meetings, signing contracts in the sauna. The first excuses are indeed true, but then filled with uncertainty. This happens when a man asks himself a question whether his wife believes his stories. Doubting this, he puts his words under close control, which is clearly noticeable.
  • Irritability and new habits. Seriously keen on another woman, the spouse begins to show dissatisfaction with his usual things. He criticizes the smell of your perfume, the color of the curtains in the bedroom, toys scattered by the child. New preferences appear. For example, a man changes his previously beloved brand of cigarettes, begins to be more interested in bowling than weekly fishing, buys a more refined perfume, a former ardent lover of meat, he suddenly prefers Japanese cuisine or vegetarianism. Changes concern intimate life. With a constant mistress, the spouse begins to move away from you, avoiding closeness under various pretexts.
  • Caring for appearance. If earlier you had to persuade your spouse to update the wardrobe, and now without your help he buys new expensive things for yourself - it's time to think. Прежде любитель подольше поваляться в постели утром, вдруг встаёт пораньше и тщательно собирается на работу или находит другую причину уйти из дома. Он в курсе последних модных тенденций, начинает посещать спортзал, отказываясь от посиделок с пивом.
  • Изменения в настроении. Какие именно перемены можно обнаружить, зависит от индивидуальности каждого мужчины. The gloomy and sad ones suddenly seem to wake up, begin to lead an active lifestyle, rejoicing in each new day, they seem to grow wings behind their backs. Bright and temperamental men have to hide from the world so that they are not suspected of new feelings. Thus, they try to hide their emotions, the appearance in their lives of another woman. Spouse avoids you, doing repairs, lessons with children, cooking dinner, so as not to cross your eyes.
  • A manifestation of jealousy and suspicion. A cheating man may begin to show jealous feelings towards you, accuse of infidelity, be interested in calls and try to read received messages. This is a subconscious assessment of your behavior through his actions. The cheater endows you with his emotions and feelings, which betrays himself with his head.
  • The desire to change you. Once you find out that the spouse constantly accuses you of wrongness, criticizes your work, clothes, hairstyle, figure. He believes that you should do another thing, change your image, lose weight, sign up for a fitness club? So his thoughts are under someone’s influence. It is not a fact that the spouse is cheating on you, but he clearly has a woman in mind, to whom he feels great sympathy and attraction.
  • Ignoring your appearance. If you don’t get any more compliments from your husband or he makes them to you, but in passing, then interest is lost. Most likely, the husband admires the new woman. Treason either was already, or it is a matter of the near future.


Suspecting a husband of treason, most women imagine themselves to be a detective and begin to meticulously look for any little things that could indicate a spouse's infidelity. Details that indicate betrayal:

  • Talking little things. Check your car, pockets, bag, spouse's desktop. Minor gifts or souvenirs can be stored there - photographs, a lighter, an expensive pen. A new passion can be given to your husband with such gifts. Usually this is characteristic of young girls. They treat such souvenirs as a part of themselves, given to their beloved man. Older women give gifts a different meaning: they seek to give a sign to their legal spouse about the appearance of a rival. Most often, gifts have lyrical or sexual symbolism.
  • Double gifts. Traitors tend to duplicate gifts. Not in order not to get confused which of the women what gift was given. This is done in order to avoid wasting time and not to bother with looking for another gift. However, the woman will immediately suspect something was amiss. For example, for 15 years, her husband gave her household appliances or other household items, and suddenly he presented her with lacy erotic lingerie or expensive toilet water. If you received perfumes as a presentation, do not rush to use them - first sniff if your spouse smells like perfumes when you return home after evening meetings.
  • Telephone secrets. If your spouse suddenly begins to carefully monitor your phone, beware. Previously, he threw the phone wherever necessary, sometimes he could not remember where he left him, did not touch him all day, now the phone is always with your husband. A rare man loves a long chat on the phone or hides in secluded places to talk.
  • Messages You know that it is indecent to look into other people's correspondence. It probably never occurred to you to read with whom your husband is chatting. But if there are certain reasons, you have to compromise your principles. If you come across interesting messages from another woman, first decide what you want? Save marriage? Then put the phone in place and do not make a scandal. Divorce the cheater? Then feel free to start interrogating the unfaithful spouse.
  • Evidence on the body. Often lovers deliberately leave scratches, hickeys and traces of lipstick. Do not trust the hair on your husband’s clothes - it’s not a fact that it was your lover who left him. Remember, if the spouse returned from a corporate party, it is natural that he took with him a couple of colleague's hair, given that most women like to shake their hair loose. However, the presence of pronounced nail scratches on your spouse’s back is clear evidence of sex with another woman.

Behavior in the presence of a mistress

Often lovers find themselves next to each other. Usually this happens if the affair began at work. If there is a situation when a wife and a lover are present at the same time near a man, he experiences inner fear.

Collision with the betrayal of a beloved spouse turns into severe pain. Every woman is afraid to be in the role of a cheated wife. Confidence in your chosen one is a whole art. However, is the relationship with the unfaithful husband worth your humiliation? Is it possible to turn a blind eye to the obvious facts of treason?

To accept that the beloved turned out to be a scoundrel is difficult. But explicit knowledge of infidelity is better than empty illusions about your happy marriage. Be that as it may, each woman decides for herself what to do.